For all of the promise the current economic stimulus package offers, it falls far short of its goal of improving the American economy. Our economy is in trouble on so many levels that a mere six hundred dollars per person will do nothing. We have to borrow the 150 billion dollars from China to support this proposal, so not only does our debt to China increase but also our dollar depreciates on the world market.

Inflation is similar to an antiquities market: The more rare the object, the more its worth. Thus, the more money you print, the less it is worth. The inflation of American currency has led to record high oil prices, since oil is priced in American Dollars. This has led to inflation all across the board, as everything in our country from food to merchandise is hauled on a truck, train, or boat. The extra cost is passed on to consumers, who have to use more of their money to buy the now more expensive product.

The problem is that no one is doing well, not on federal, state, local, or personal levels. The average savings rate of the average citizen in 2006 was negative for the first time ever. This means people were spending more than they were saving. 2007 proved to be much worse. More than seven million families lost their homes or are on the verge of losing them now; health costs are skyrocketing; the cost of food and fuel is rising; and the average American is working longer hours for less pay than ten years ago. Most city and state governments are operating on a revenue shortfall, and the federal government is operating under the largest debt it has ever seen - $9.4 trillion to date, which is roughly $30,000 per citizen.

So borrowing money to infuse the economy seems a little like robbing Peter to pay Paul. Sure, the average citizen will have one good month, but in the long run, their overall financial situation will worsen. The extra money from China will only add to the rising cost of goods, which adds stress to every American family's budget.

Perhaps a better solution would be for our government to stop spending on average 1.6 billion dollars a day. Ending the occupation of Iraq might be one good way to skimp on the budget. Ending the Bush tax cuts would be another way. The top ten percent should be putting in as much as everyone else.

The money being wasted every day could be put towards far more noble goals. Perhaps if the defense budget was lowered, we could put that money towards our schools, giving rise to an educated society that can create a vibrant economy on its own. Maybe if we made it our goal to get everyone in the world access to clean water and medicine, we wouldn't have to worry about people wanting to bomb us, and the Department of Homeland Security could vanish from the budget.

However, the powers that be in Washington have decided to dole out $600 per individual and $300 per child as a bribe to the American public. It seems as if this money is to stop people from worrying about the overall economic situation of our country and start worrying about decorating the interior of their homes.

Fortunately for most Americans, their house is smaller than it was ten years ago, so it only takes $600 to furnish their new apartments, trailers, or tents in the woods.

This economic stimulus package is too little, too late. The cash is nice, but remember where the money is coming from: the second mortgage on our future.

Stop trying to act cute, and mail me the loot.

I have no home of my own, no car, no refrigerator full of Coke and weenies and Eggbeaters and toast. And I want my damn $600, even if it has to be converted direct from hot Chinese slave sweat into cold American greenbacks. That $600 will go straight into canned goods that will keep me subsisting well into the Iran War.

$150 billion is only a drop in the bucket to the government - just another payday loan from our rich buddy China - and won't inflation ream us all, whether or not the economy is "stimulated" by the President's package when it's exposed next month?  I think I would rather bend over some time after May, since it is possible that June and July may arrive late, or fail to show at all.

I don't see the money as a bribe, because there's no quid pro quo - don't even have to say thanks. Shortly after George W. was first elected, out of the blue he sent me a personal $300 check, sort of a Texas kickback from a real pardner, and I was grateful for it then.  Now that he's leaving, my cowboy bud wants to rebate me for twice as much, and I say "Thanks again and giddayup, little doggy!  You're a pathetic boy, aren't you now? Better git on back to the ranch...."

When you say that money would be better spent if the government threw it at education, or reducing pollution, or healthcare, well I daresay your walking around on the ground is really starting to cramp my high. That's the same kind of buzzkill that sweet Marie Antoinette was bravely trying to tamp when she protested, "Let them eat cake."

I know, I know, when Rome fell it was all bread and circuses, and no one could breed because the hot water in their gay bathhouses had raised testicle temperatures to the point where sperm production was negligible. But to me that's all just Henny-penny and the sky is falling and death and destruction and violence in every headline, to paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld. 

Maybe we wouldn't have to spend so much on the war every day, if we'd only be willing to cut some corners, like on costly armor and Kevlar helmets. Maybe not every single little tot in America has to get a good education, or healthcare, or breathe clean air. I didn't have those luxuries when I was growing up, and I seem to have turned out just f#%*&@$!. 

Tell us what you think. Write Spectrum at editor@mcckc.edu.

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