Megan Donigan and Jeanna Lee, both male-to-female transgenders, insist that dating is the same experience for them as it is for anyone else. Relationships, breakups, and one-night stands have all happened to them.

Where do transgenders go to meet people? "Everywhere," said Donigan. "Clubs, libraries, the grocery store - just like you do."

Most male-to-female transgenders identify themselves as lesbians, like Lee, or bisexuals, like Donigan, though some identify as heterosexuals.

Transgender dating is not a closed circuit. In fact, both Donigan and Lee are in their first relationships with transgenders: each other.

Donigan said that she has met men who exclusively date transgenders, but the trend for Lee seems to be that people who want to date her are attracted to her, not her transgender status.

Asked if she has dated anyone who did not know her status, Lee said, "I'm sure I have. But I don't live my life for what other people think. I make my own choices." For Lee, the objective is not to convince others that she is a woman, but simply to be herself, however that manifests.

As far as hmm-hmm, just because you have it does not mean you use it, even alone. Sometimes, that can be a factor in desiring the surgery, though the surgery itself, said Lee, is often the last step in an emotional journey, not a quick fix for bedroom pleasure.

Neither Donigan nor Lee have always been transgendered, at least outwardly. Both were married to women, Donnigan for fifteen years and Lee for twenty-four.

Donigan said her wife knew about her and did not care at first. When they separated, however, Donigan's wife said, "You'll never be happy until you're a woman," to which Donigan said simply, "You're right. I won't."

For Lee, the moment of realization came when she found herslf interested in fashion magazines, more so the clothing than the women. "Now," she said, "When I see a woman engaged with another woman, I automatically identify with one or the other."

Donigan identifies with liberal women of the last decade, whereas Lee's style and behavior are more reminiscent of women from a previous era. Both women are drawn to traditional forms of femininity, while other women fight to defy such stereotypes.

Donigan said, "I know that. But they want the right to be who they are, just like I do."

Copyright 2007 Metropolitan Community College