Don't be surprised to see your boy in rehab for alcohol abuse; the Chiefs drive a man to drink.

I know you guys saw that nail-biter against San Diego. Man, that was one hell of a game. I think I was a drink and a half away from wiping out the liquor store.

On a lighter note, at least they won. Had they lost, well, I may be in Betty Ford sooner than expected.

The Chiefs make a man like myself emotional. Don't call me during a Chiefs game; don't talk to me during a Chiefs game; in fact, don't even look at me during a Chiefs game. I need to be in my zone. I feel that if I don't watch the whole game, the Chiefs' chance for winning is minute.

The Chiefs, 4-3, are playing half-decent football and won again October 29 against Seattle. I say half-decent because the Pittsburgh game was a total collapse. Damon Huard threw his first interception all season, LJ's nose couldn't even run, and the defense played.

What has surprised me most about the Chiefs is the play of Huard, who sat on the bench behind Hall of Famer Dan Marino and future HOF'er Tom Brady, may be thisclose to making Trent Green sit on the bench for the rest of the year, healthy or not.

Do you remember when Elvis Grbac was hurt a couple of years back and a no-name QB by the name of Rich Gannon came in and guided the Chiefs to the playoffs? Do you remember what happened when the playoffs came? Gannon was benched and Grbac came in and played like, well, Elvis Grbac (which is synonymous with failure and bone-headedness).

If the Chiefs were to go on a nice winning streak that leads to the playoffs with Huard manning the offense, I'd stick with Huard. No disrespect to Green, whom I love like a red-haired stepchild, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

My cousin (who happens to be an undercover fair-weather Chiefs fan) posed a hypothetical question to me: "If LJ was hurt and Dee Brown came in and rushed for 75-90 yards per game, and the Chiefs were winning, would you let LJ back in the lineup once healthy?" The answer was "hell yeah" for three reasons:

1. Dee Brown is a bum: if you're a Dee Brown fan, sucks for you. Brown was a college quarterback (played QB behind a fella by the name of Donovan McNabb at Syracuse) and is not built to run in the AFC West. He's weak, not elusive, and he's just plain garbage. LJ may fumble more than I like, but he's a horse.

2. LJ is a better receiver from the backfield: once Grandmama (remember Larry Johnson of the Hornets? Used to dress up like a grandmother? The Chiefs' LJ is the new Grandmama) is in the open field, who is going to stop him? No D-back in the league is strong enough to knock fire from LJ on their own (with possible exceptions being Dallas' Roy Williams, Jacksonville's Donovan Darius, and Baltimore's Ed Reed).

3. Running backs are more interchangeable than quarterbacks: running backs can get in their groove quicker than a rusty quarterback. All a running back has to do is hit the hole and run like the wind. A quarterback must observe the defense schemes, audible out when he sees coverage that will kill the play at the line of scrimmage, and basically be the captain of the ship.

If Green was healthy, I'd slowly incorporate him back into the offense. If the Chiefs have a big lead, put Green in the game in the fourth quarter so he can get back into his groove. I would not put Huard back on the bench immediately unless he starts playing like Drew Bledsoe or Jake "The Fake" Plummer (although Denver is the AFC West leader, I utterly despise Jake Plummer).

Anyway, my football fiends, the Chiefs' schedule gets a tad bit easier. The next four games include the St. Louis Rams in St. Louis (who are looking pretty good); Miami, who is garbage; and division rivals Oakland and Denver here in Arrowhead (where those chumps have no chance).

And to you Chief-haters, don't come leaping on the bandwagon once the team gets on a roll. I'll hunt you down like Dog the Bounty Hunter and send you to Oakland, you traitors!

Copyright 2006 Metropolitan Community College